So far, Lelia and Henry are proving that while opposites attract, it might be everlasting. The more we get to know Lelia (understanding her reasons for leaving) and Henry (the reason he has trouble expressing himself, the more a solid relationship of the two seems impossible. Lelia’s father describes the two saying, “She’s always been a little too unsteady. […] She needs someone like you. You’re ambitious and serious. You think before you speak. […] You’ve been raised to be circumspect and careful.”
Her father, Stew, may irritate the reader with his borderline racist comments, but he’s right. Lelia comes off as emotionally unstable. She is completely flabbergasted when she learns that Henry doesn’t know the name of the lady who helped to raise him for 20 years. After this, she fails in trying to get to know the woman and eventually breaks down after a scuffle with her. Another example of her unsteadiness is her ability to pick up and leave for months at a time when feeling overwhelmed at home. For some, this may seem normal. Everyone handles their problems different, but I don’t feel that this is acceptable in a marriage, especially the way Lelia was so distant about the entire situation.
Even still, one can’t help but to understand Lelia. Is it so bad that she’s being distant when her husband has been the same way since the beginning? Sure he thinks before he speaks, but this is Henry’s problem- sometimes he opts not to speak at all. He’s so introverted, Lelia complains about “not knowing the first thing about what was going on inside of his head.” He’s careful, yes, but too careful- especially regarding the death of his son. It’s obvious that he’s hurt, but like his father, he doesn’t know exactly how to deal with it. I’m curious to see if Lelia and Henry can work this out. Unfortunately, I have my doubts.
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6 comments:
i thoght Lelia's reaction to Henrry not knowing his maid name was pretty normal. I know I would be shocked If someone I knew has someone living in their home for more then two decades and did not even know her name! I can understand if he did not want to intrued on her life or be nosey. And its true that some people just don't like to talk about themselves or their family's buissness. But come on thats no reason to not even bother to ask her what ther name is. Even if she was just a maid. To me that is very disrespectful and ungrateful. since she obviously workd hard and has been loyal they should have at least mad an effort to show some kind of apreasation.
Obviously, this is just part of their culture like it has been said in class. Throughout the book there are many examples of this. I found it interesting when Henry was with Janice and she started to talk about her ex boyfriends. When she broke up with the Korean one she said "We had a huge fight. Actually, I mostly yelled at him. He wouldn't say anything back" (Lee 95). This shows how this is just a culturally thing and I feel that Henry can't be mad that Lelia is doing the same thing to him. I feel that she has learned to be introverted from Henry and is just basically doing the same thing he does which is causing such major problems in their relationship.
I think Henry is trying to step out of being introverted when he goes to visit her at Molly's house. But I do not like the fact that he does not understand that he cannot use the techniques he uses at work in this situation. I think Leila can see through that. If he wants to make any progress he's going to have to learn how to separate his business life from his personal life. I hope they find a way to work things out. I know I said they were infatuated with each other in the beginning, but as I read on I think they truly love each other despite the death of their son.
I think that it was carelessness that that led Henry not to care enough to know his maid's background. As moonspell said, it is disrepectful. It is like Henry was raised not to care. To Leila, Henry's dad seemed like a sweet heart, but to Henry, he was not, so I think he chooses only to see one side.
I agree with Mighty Franso about the doubts of the relationship ever being fixed. Henry seems like that type that doesnt care about anything and although does have feelings has the hardest time showing them, pride? Im looking foward to see what happens with thier drama but we cant forget that Leila isnt the best wife either with her random trips alone.. Does she keeps secrets too??
I agree with moonspell that if someone I knew didn't know the name of someone who they had known for 20 years, someone who had helped raise them, I also would be disappointed in the person. However, I also agree with some of the other posters that the Henry's culture was not one that depended on talking and communication. This can also been seen in some of the other books that we've read. For example, in Bone, the Leong family did not talk about their problems. At first, Leon did not even confront Ma about her infidelity; he just moved out. Later, after they had discussed it once, it was never brought up again.
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