Monday, September 15, 2008
The Americanizing of Pau Tsu
Through the discussions we had in class, i would like to expand on one such question that i raised. Does Pau honestly love Wan Lin Fo? And truely does she want to change? I would say that I do not think Pau loves Wan Lin Fo as a true wife. The only relationship that they have is husband and wife title. If Pau truely cared about Lin, she would change herself, even if she did not like it. She took that oath to support her husband, but when Lin asks her for one thing (Americanize yourself) she slacks off and never accomplishes it for him. There is no acuse that she has, her husband gave her all the help and support, she should be abligated to americanize herself in the least amount of time (no matter how much it hurts). Marriage is a bigger step than asking someone to change their ways. She should have known that coming to America was not going to be the same as living in China. Pau needs to get this Chinese mentality out of her head, this is America- women are expected to be social, wear nice things, see doctors who are men, and speak English. Throughout the short story, we see that she tries to change, but truely all I see a lack of effort. She never believed in the saying, "Do as the Romans do." For example, she tells Lin whats the use in learning english, when she is going to stay at home anyways. Her husband is putting in so much effort, and they only thing that she ever gives back to him for all his support and hardwork is a beautiful divorce letter which she does not even deliver herself. Why is it when she could not handle the stress of becoming an American anymore, she can finally start acting American and asks for an American divorce? Thats weird she would not put on the nice dress without an arguement, but somehow divorce is moral on her list. Did she have it in her to change, or was she just lazy? We all look at Lin and say you were being to harsh on your wife, but honestly what did he do wrong, all he wanted was for her to have both of best worlds, it was his wife that wanted to stay a chinese women forever.
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4 comments:
I think this story was very sad. It really acted like a window into just how hard it is going to another country and adjusting life there. Althogh it is true that Pau Tsu was not fully open to the change as was evident by some of the things she said, but alsothe redecoration of the apartment when she first arived. However her husband also pushed the change onto her even thoght it was evident that she was not ready to make the change on her own.
The pair seemed to be as difrent as the cultures they were used to. Pau Tsu was used to the quiet, stay at home lifestlye that was typical in China at this time period. she would have been content to stay at home alone and only be with her husband for company. Her husband wanted her to have the active social life that was typical of amreican woman of this time. they went to each other's homes to and hosted parties and guest and played the role of hostice to thier husban's friensa as well as thier own. The two culturew and the expecdent lifestyle of women in thoes cultures are so diffrent that its no wonder Pau Tsu couldn't cope with the sudden change. If she is to adapt to the american lifestyle it must come with thime and support from her husband. You can't teach someone to swim by thowing them into the San Fansisco bay.
I think that it takes time to build the type of love that I was discussing in class. But I think it still applies in this case, because they are in a relationship that they are supposedly in for a long time. So as for arranged marriages, with respect and understanding comes love. I do not think Wan Lin Fo tried to do that, all he did was try to change Pau Tsu. I do think Pau Tsu tried to the best of her ability to change for Wan Lin Fo, but was so rushed she buckled under the pressure as anyone would. Yes, she took an oath to support her husband, but support should be going both ways. Marriage is a give and take relationship. Wan Lin Fo just wanted to take her entire identity away from her. Forcing someone to change is not support and neither is giving someone 2 or 3 months to assimilate to a completely foreign culture. "Marriage is a bigger step than asking someone to change their ways". That is why when you get to that step you should be ready to accept that person for who they are because you cannot change someone unless they are ready to change, and she was obviously not ready to change judging from the ordeal she went through with the male doctor. He did not want her to have the best of both worlds, becuase if he did he would not try to stripe her of all her past beliefs. He wanted to completely get rid of all that she was so that he could make his own version of Adah.
I understand that in this story Lin Fo had good intentions behind trying to Americanize Pau Tsu. However, it is unfair of Lin Fo to expect her to go from living in China, where she was born and grow up, and just adjust to the American ways in a matter of days. I feel that he was being completely unfair to her. He should have let her do it at her own pace instead of forcing it upon her. He should have just accepted her as how she was. Like Stephanie said, when you marry someone you need to marry them for who they are instead of changing them. As for the divorce that Pau Tsu asks for from Lin, I think it was her trying to get back at him. Like, hey you wanted for me to be americanized then here i want a divorce. It didn't mean that she actually did americanize when she said that.
Can I get an original text of this story??
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